you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
