dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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