just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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