I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
