There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
