I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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