my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I want to fling myself into the sun
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