spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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