Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
