My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I want a musical about memes.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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