I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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