He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
