I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
