I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Floor bacon is actually really good
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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