"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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