"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
