Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
