They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
A bitchslap is in order.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
