how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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