Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
