Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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