my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
