i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
