Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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