maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
