you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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