Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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