On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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