all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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