So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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