So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
