Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
