i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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