So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
