Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
