escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
