you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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