True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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