Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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