I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
