drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
