I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
