I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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