I just made out with a guy for $7.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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