It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
