**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
