And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
