508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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