You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
My life is pants optional.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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