Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
