You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
