It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize