How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
