yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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