I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
