i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
