we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
What a dumb baby whore.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
