I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
