My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
