She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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