she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
