The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
