I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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