I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
