It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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